I have an acquaintance, who was a businessman, but then the LNR appeared and you can easily understand what have happened. Sergey rushed around, reasonably assessed situation, created a web site and started to cast personal horoscopes online.
Such turn in a carrier of ex-businessman and owner of chain stores was very unexpected for everyone, first of all, for his wife. She is pacifist by nature and shared her feelings with me once: “Other husbands are just regular guys. Some are unemployed, some are militants, but my …” I asked Sergey, who didn’t know a thing about horoscopes, if he was ashamed to lie to people, and he answered in a confident voice: “I don’t lie! I am looking for the best way to tell each Zodiac sign that life is a shit and you can go farther and fare worse!”
“Lions are impulsive and authoritative. I write them: if you have a goal in front of you, than you have all the chances to reach it. At the same time it’s a mess in the country. That is why I add that external factors can negatively impact life of the sign. In general, I unobtrusively incline each client to change a country. It’s better to scarper as far as they can”.
Wife of the Luhansk oracle told me that their neighbor sobered up, shaved himself and moved to another city. One more moving neighbor worries hearts of common Lugansk resident. You start driving away all bothering thoughts that someone knows something that you don’t know; check your “emergency suitcase” with your underwear and documents … Sergey found out that the man, who had left, was an Aquarius and wrote on his web site that it’s a time of change for this sign. He found the man’s children in social networks and asks them once a week about father’s health and plans, about changes in his life and his reactions. The man’s children believe that Sergey is compassion and care personified. That is why Aquarius got good news last week, but this week there is a risk to go on the booze.
It’s hard to believe and even harder to realize that new job gives Sergey not big but stable income. It’s not easy to cash this income, but that’s the business of other acquaintance of mine.
Katya and Misha were saving money for a new car and other staff. They kept their wealth in a proper way – under the mattress. Now, if you want to get cash, you can withdraw needed sum from the “Car check card”. 6% commission and you can get your money.
Duties are equally shared: Misha negotiates and meets clients, Katya irons notes. Don’t even ask. Katya claims that it makes notes look like new and makes their business look more reputable. But I am sure that her husband is incorrigible chauvinist.
When they ran out their “undermattress” money, they left the LNR’s territory and went to faraway cities with ATMs.
For safety and conspiracy they withdrew money partly, one by one. They collected debts and even visited their grandmother to take a stash from under her stove. For relatives from the “Mainland” they made up a story about a visit to buy “meds for Katya’s mom”. They may have thought that an entrepreneurial spirit runs in the blood and family would ask for a commission.
On the way back they hided money in socks, underpants and other places, popular among conspirators and paranoiacs. They got back without incidents. But I feel excited thinking how funny it would have been to be checked by more careful and meticulous armed man on a block post.
At home Katerina took iron and started render notes marketable. She covered a mattress with a sheet, put money in an orderly manner, covered them with another sheet and started ironing. I haven’t seen it myself but a description of this solemn performance carries me back to dashing nineties.
After ironing of the next batch she discovered that all portraits of Lesya Ukrainka (an image on a 200 hrivnas note) have massively migrated to textiles together with a sign “National Bank of Ukraine”. It was obvious that those notes were from their village stash. Katya saw a sign in that. Said, that it was a divine retribution for leaving an old lady alone. Misha interpreted the sign in another way, more shameful.
They got those Lesya Lzheukrainkas for a moped several years ago. Katya remained optimistic and said that they had a unique sheet, beautiful and patriotic. But images have been washed off right away. After estimation they understood that they had failed.
In such cases people address police, but which one? Money was brought from Ukraine. The LNR’s police can just feel sympathy for their grief. Michail burnt counterfeit money. There were no Lesya Ukrainka on notes anymore, so no one could call it a provocation.
When I told that story to Sergey, he laughed, then he was indignant at frauds and lies everywhere, and then he asked: “What are guys’ Zodiac signs?”
Keep in mind that Capricorns can face financial surprises and disappointments this month.
Dasha Tundra for Informator.lg.ua